dt: Sometimes,

I get so sick of "I'm sorry it'll never happen again." And I get tired of "I'll make it up to you." Whatever happened to the times when you just did things how they were supposed to be done the first time? What happened to never letting someone go to sleep upset? What happened to the part of our relationship that I miss the most? Sigh. Maybe all things change, I just didn't think it would change into something that I kind of hate. I guess I just wanted you to be there and you weren't and now I'm pouting about it. Wahh I'm just a big ass baby. Screw me. Why am I so hard to please? It's ok though, I don't really blame you... I'm impossible.

Long Distance

Something I hate about long distance is everything can be postponed. You can't have a real date set for anything. Everything planned can always be pushed back to make room for something else that comes up. IDK. This doesn't really make sense anymore.

KNOOOCKED OUTT.

Im sorry that you  dont trust me that much and that sometimes you have to go to the full extent to find the truth out.im really trying to be the best boyfriend i can be. when i always go on blog spot its just so sad. i see all my mistakes and its just like hmm... how embarassing. worst boyfriend status. i mean i understand you did what you did but idk... its right than its wrong. idk. im sorry im really not trying to make you feel bad about the situation. but yeah. im sorry and i love you.. im not really feeling missouri this year your not gonna be there how sad is that gonna be D: boo i wish you could be there and we could just spend our days together. oh well i hope today turns out better its just not our day today<3 well make it through we always do (: love you.

Love Gets the Best of You

Well, here I am. I am very distraught. I don't regret telling you because that was the right thing to do. I'm sad that I lack that much trust in you that I have to go through your phone thing. But, I can't believe I can love someone so much to go to that big of an extent. I just wanted to know, did you love me as much as I love you? Am I someone who could be easily replaced with someone else? Do you pamper people with as much attention as I think you do? I am the crazy one. I am the one that did the unthinkable. You keep saying, "It's just never happened to me before." My response that is, "So?" What does that have to do with anything? Are you saying that if someone previously did that to you then it would be okay for me to do it? Well, if that's the case maybe your next girlfriend will have more luck because she can pull whatever shit she wants and it won't be freakin' crazy to you anymore. Okay, that was unnecessary to say.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I did take it too far...but, I only did it because of you.
You drove me to that point. I'm not proud of what I did, but I do not regret it. Whatever gives me peace of mind. I couldn't depend on you for the truth anymore, so I had to find out myself. I went to the extreme to know. I couldn't take just sitting around thinking and wondering anymore. I needed answers that no one would give me.


I am a psycho.
-d 

dt: tonight, you didn't say i love you after good night...

-sigh.

DT:3

TO PACK LIST!

CONTACT CASE
CONTACT SOLUTION
BRUSHES
PHONE CHARGER
LAPTOP
LAPTOP CHARGER
WALLET
MAKE UP
FACE PROD
BLACK SHORTS
URBAN OUTF. TOP
HEADPHONES
JOURNAL
PEN
JACKET
INHALER
LICENSE
RED NIKE SHORTS
BLACK CARDIGAN
BATHING SUIT

Dt:Gosh, what is wrong with me?

I just... can't.