Kdeezy: you can pretend this is like 30921783092183 posts.

cause i woke up at like 1230 :P sorry D: you know im really scared to death that im gonna. Like i would be so completely lost without you , like everytime were not in good terms im already like blaaaaah. the mindset of everything just blanks out. And the only thing on my mind is to make us happy again. I cant even imagine not having you to talk to everyday , every night before i sleep . and i cant think of having someone else to do it with cause that wouldnt feel right cause that was always our thing to do. EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK YOUR BORING AND I DONT WANNA TALK TO YOU. i dont ever think that(: i just wanna spend errr moment with you. like you would sayy im attached. and i have no intentions to let go ever. haha im just scared that ima do some stupid stuff to make you make and frustrated and your gonna just leave :/ well yeah oh btw good job on your chem test ... now we shall wait on your math test dun dun dunnnn. Welllll i shall talk to you when you get home (: talk to you than loveee<3

I hate having more than like four text msg threads going at once..looks so dirty!

Kd: the ditcher.

I really don't know what to say to make you happy again. Everything I say seems just to be whatever but I don't blame you. I guess you just seem fed up with my decisions and such. I really wanted to write out a blog to you trying to tell you how sorry I am but I don't knownif it mean anything now. I hate this feelings I just want us to be okay again. Blah. I'm sorry.

DT

Bad night okay morning bad day. Get me out of this cycle.

DT: "Date" Night

Yeah... we had a "date" today, actually Friday. So, I guess I can now assume it is not going to happen. I don't know why it makes me kind of sad, oh well. It's nothing that I can't get over though, I guess. I don't mean to post this to like make you unhappy or like ruin your day. This is just the only place I had to blog about my life, ya know? So yeah. Oh, and it's okay, don't even bother to "make it up to me." It just doesn't seem like something "make-up-able." No big deal though, it's all good in the hood.

Gooodnightt, I feel like I stayed up just to receive a measly 25 minute phone call. I don't even think it would have made a difference if you just didn't call at all since like 20 minutes of that 25 felt like it was used to talk to Anthony.

-Shrugs, whatever. I sound mad. I'm not mad though.
I'm just a little on the ___ side.

DT: A friendly conversation... not

Diane: What did your brothers do to themselves...
Monica: cut their hair.
Diane: whyy :o
Monica: why not
Diane: So dramatic, haha i would cry if i cut that much hair off. they have balls
Monica: No not really and yeah but they're boys. no they just don't care
Diane: haha they're funny
Monica: Everyone seems to ask that
Diane: cause its shockingg
Monica: and you always ask "why"

if they cut it then they cut it there shouldnt be an explanation for it you ask me that sometimess too and my brothers aren't dumb

it might be okay for me to say it but it just sounds mean when someone else does. sorry i just had to tell you

[ Okay, what the fuck. You think your own best friend would catch sarcasm? Hah apparently not. And, asking why is not a crime. I'm sorry princess, something didn't go to your liking for once. ]

DT

This isn't how I expected the conversation to go... -sigh. Whatever, goodnight world. I'll just get things off my mind the easy way...sleeping it off will def work wonders.

DT: Todaaaaay

Ah, my reaction after I got that text from you was pretty like "uh okaaay." Like, I know right? It's so dumb. But, it was just like 'awh' so does not turn into 'ash' (normally). Like, do you even know who you're talking to? You're probably all "omg babe yes!!" I know..
It's so dumb. I'm weird. No one likes me. Yada yada yada I know.. And I'm sorry for being a butthole about it. -Sigh, the conversation before that was so good though, like it felt like way back in the day when I would be like way too excited to receive a text message from you. It was like that again this morning. The conversation the night before and the way we just like "clicked" was awesome. Awesome is such a childish word, but I don't know another word that could possible describe it. I just did not want to stop talking to you at all. It was one of those nights where I wished so badly that school didn't have to come the next day or that minutes weren't a factor in how long we could talk. Oh, I wish we had the same cell phone company, but we don't and it absolutely sucks! So yeah, just wanted to tell you how I was such a dork this morning and was all desperate for you to respond to my text messages because I missed you so much today. I really just wanted to see you and receive a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig hug. It's times like this when I hate the whole distance thing. Distance stinks. But, I'm thankful for it because it makes me cherish the little stuff and the times we actually do get to spend together. I learned how to be more thankful for what I have because others have it far worse. AND MY NAME IS NOT ASH!!!


OH and I soooooooooooo did not "moan" yeah. Stop lying to me and saying I did loooserrr.

I love you lots!

DT: I'm a creeper

Kd : break time!

Baby baby baby I am currently talking or well listening to you study for you math test :P you sound so cute when you study (: hehe creepin don't worry I'm listening to everything I'm sorry that got calculator is not working for you D: you sounded so mad at it. I'm sorry about today ): you didn't seem so happy with me :/ but I hope you enjoyed my stories though (: I think I've been going crazy without seeing you. Like I need to see you nooow. Just to be in your presence. Sigh everything seems so blah with my family well just me and my dad idk :/ ugh. It's so bothersome I mean I know he cares but it's just like dad I got myself I promise. And in school I'm like I just don't wanna be there but in trying my best I promise! Paying attention and everything not even sleeping :P just so close to graduations but yet so far you probably think I fell asleep or something (x ugh work tomorrow no greys for me again awh pooie I need to catch up foreals . Fb chat all day haha jk jk why is it so quiet ?! Haha what happen :P well yeah heres a little something something to read when you want a break from studying you know :P love you my dearest! Heheh

Ugh. Why am I starting to hate school more & more each day -.-" especially this stupid school >.>

DT: Random thought

Chem test soon! So anxious so anxious. I feel okay about it, but then I feel like I'm underworrying about it because chemistry is hard): goodluck to me...

DT: HAPPY14!

Gah, I love you. I love it when we have good days like this:) Oh how could I ever be mad at you? So, I was all taking a nap today right? And I was like "oh my, I wish Kevin was here." Ah, I hate you being like six hours away! It really, really sucks. I hate like wishing you were here to do things with me. For instance, you could literally be here doing homework with me, hehe. I wouldn't mind doing homework with you. I would like make up homework to do so the time would last longer... yeah I'm kind of lame I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I played tennis today and that you like like like like were awaiting for me to call you. I'm so glad I called you in time though. When you told me you had to go I thought it was five already and I got kind of sad. Haha, is that lame? I actually wrote a real blog like two weeks ago, but I like discarded it because it was super embarrassing. Yeaaaahhh, you will never ever see it. You are so precious, aaaah -dies

I keep typing 24 months every time I mean to type 14. I guesss that means you can get stuck with me for another ten months so I won't look like an idiot when I'm typing 24 huh? Kay, that was a confusing sentence, but bear with me. I try.

As I always say, I'm so thankful for having you there for me all the time. I'm so happy that we actually get along like all the time. Yeah, we have our ups and downs, but it seems like nothing compared to other people's problems. You just said what the freak. What the freak, since when did you substitute the word freak for fuck? Aw, I sorry that you're doing my crossword and you're having technical difficulties with it): I feel so terrible, so if it's too hard you should like not do it anymore because that's like boring and lame to do.

Remember last January when we were all like "eh you're going to forget about me soon." LOOK! we didn't forget about each other:) and I definitely will never forget you. Even if you hated me one day you made such a big impact in my life. You were basically like my first everything? And I didn't get to be your first anytime )': But it's okay hah I guess I will get over that. No big deal. But yeah I just hope you never hate me or like like like yeah. I would be so devastated because you're so cool and I wanna talk to you forever and ever and sometimes I wish we had infinite minutes so we could just talk all day long. Is that okay? I mean I know I get boring and cranky sometimes, but I hope you can deal with that. I'm mean and you're nice.


I WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN, BLEEEEEEEH DESPERATE LITTLE GIRL):
i love you so so so much, diiannnenenenenenenenetooonnngngngngngng

DT: Happy14!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH:D

KD: such a disappointment all day errday.

): why am I such a disappointment at everything I do ;/ I guess no one has high expectations for me anyways .. So I guess yeah :T idk my parents like think I'm the biggest failure there is how sad is that? Sigh* tai sao? ); I wish I was like every other asian's that make all a's and score high scores on SATs but nope just another dummy.

DT: Everyone in my family is so annoying.

I hate the weekends.
I am so bitter. I am in the worst mood. Everyone is so annoying.
I might as well go sleep before I start to cry from frustration.

KD: I'll be your friend(:

awh babe its okay.. sometimes i think i provoke it. ): today seemed so frustrating my dad was just yelling at me over and over and over. and just bringing up random ass shit to yell at me. it just felt so sad like i was like not worthy of something or yeah i dont know. School today sucked.. seems like i cant do it its just to loooonggg. it needs to hurry up and come so i can graduate so i can be in college and make my parents proud and suchhhh. yeah last night was so blaaah! i couldnt even sleep cause the fact that you didnt go sleep happy or me not content before sleeping bothereddd the heck out of meee but its okay.. your happy today.. were happy today so its all good. i feel the same way i havent been hungry lately ive been just eating whatever whenever. haha sorry your candy doesnt taste as good as you want it to be :P you seem so dissapointed " it tasted like shit " hahha made me LOL. (x well thanks for being there for me babe (: i loooove you. movie time!hopefully soon i can see again :D! yaaay. k bye. hahajustkidding KAAAY BYEEE(:

DT: Bleh.

Bleh seems like it's the perfect word to describe my mood. I try to put things that don't make me happy in the back of my mind, but I always find that when I have spare time everything rushes into my thoughts. I force myself to sit back and overanalyze everything. In all honesty, I don't even know what I'm "overanalyzing" because it doesn't even make sense to me. It wouldn't make sense to anyone. I make myself seem so complex, but in reality I just sound absurd because even complex people can find it in themselves to explain their thoughts or emotions. And me? Yeah, I can't even find a word to describe my moods lately. The best thing I can think of is the sound "bleh."

I'm not in the mood to do anything lately. I'm hungry, but I don't even want to eat. It's weird. It's like everyday I walk into the cafeteria and I'm like, "ugh nothing here even looks the slight bit appetizing to me." But then, I always end up picking something and shoving it down my throat. Half the time I actually like my forced pick. Other than food though, other things have been going on. I'm been in such a sour mood lately. Why would anyone want to be my friend or even talk to me? I wouldn't even want to talk to me. The world doesn't revolve around me so I can't expect other people to fix my own mental problems. Sometimes, I can't believe I take things to seriously. I wish I could help it but when I do hear things like that I'm just like, "dang, -sigh."
UGHLJFLFKDJ SO FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF & EVERYTHING THAT I DO

dianetong

I hate everything, dammit.

Well good night sleepyhead(:

Your all sound asleep. I'm sorry if I ended our phone call on a bad note. I'm sorry everything I do wrong :/ I know I'm such a screw up sometimes and it gets me so sad and yeah I hate to see you down cause it brings me down ): ugh I'm sorry and I hope you have a good sleep and sleep away that itchy feeling of yours(: well goodnight dear I love you.

dianetong

Crying/tearing up over a boy? Ugh poop, what is this.... ._.

dianetong

This feeling sucks butt holes. -sigh, good thing you're asleep though...

KD: AHEM... WHERES MY BLOOOG...

haha jk. dont kill me yet. You know sometimes i always think to myself that your to good for me. I probably told you that before , but yeah im like dang shes like beautiful , intelligent, talented , etc etcc . And your all like stuck with me and im a big fat loser... that is such a dummmmiie. hahah how do you stand it love? i dont get it :P but im also thankful that yyoooou choose to be with a loser withh me teeeheee<3 i love you :D you better believe mee cause i mean it.. gaaah so breath taking (: haha i totally wrote more blogs than you alreadyyy . who knew but you always write the good and juicy stuff(; im still made that i didnt get the galaxxy cause i cant jailbreak the stupid iphone cause the power button is brokennn -.- D: booohoo . oh wells. haha we should both go get it when we cannn ! but goooood luucccck on your lab report! i like it when you curseeee especially when its dirty.. hahha :P its from a sonnng. yeahhh. well heres your blog. oh and i love it when you call me pet names LOLLLLLLL. okay all is done<3 i loovers you.

KD: ROFLCAPTOR

You do not take everything from me. haha you know i dont careeee. gosh today was such a boring day i was sleeping til like 12 im sorry. you been so tired lately awh its so shhaad. cause i wannna like talk to you but its okaaay. sleepyhead. awh i start the last semester of high school tomorrow. its kinda like a bittersweet feeling but than again i just hated high school with a passion so yay for college. awh you dont wanna see me anymore... very awkwardd. hahha jk jk i cant when i see you again! omg omg omg i miss you so much </3 you need to come to texas one day so i can show everything here! IM SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM BABE OMMMG. WHY WOULD I LIE TO YOOU. im sorry i sound so weirdd >.> sorry im just going to puberty. D: im not making fun of you , your just not trusting me.. hahha justkidding. i love you and this is so pointless..

its your turn(:

DT: Your requested list

St. Ives Blemish and Blackhead Apricot Scrub (7.25)
Neutrogena Clear Pore Oil Eliminating Astrigent (5.49)
Clinique Acne Solutions Clarifying Lotion (14.00)
AcneFree Therapeutic Sulfur Mask (7.99)

= $34.73

DT: ...I'm mad

No not really. Baha, that would be dumb. Why would I be mad because you didn't blog for me? Obviously, you have better things to do. Yay for you having a life:( I'm so tired from camp! I'm ecstatic that I get to sleep in all day tomorrow. I wish you could come, but you can't. Bleh, this is what sucks about you being 3 hours away! You know what? I'm just going to call it six hours away because it's like 3+3=6 so yeaaaahhh it makes more sense to me. I'm so technical I know.

I'm pooped. It felt so good when I got to shower and clean up though. I was like 'Hallelujah! I feel so good mmm I feel so good!' I finally get to sleep in my own bed tonight feeling all clean and falling asleep while talking to you again. I really enjoy it. Ah, on Friday night I fell asleep listening to your voicemail...Is that dorky? I'm so creepy. I want you to come home!! BOO TO KFC!

KevinDaaao: dont be mad at me..

ill write a blog when i get home from work! telling you about my weekend and such. so plaese dont be mad ><

KDeeezy: What a long day.

Why does it always feel like everybody and everything is against me sometimes... life just sucks some big balls sometimes.. i mean today was an okay day but towards the end of it everything just felt like i was falling apart not being able to catch myself :/ i miss you babe <3 im sorry ive been so bleh the past few days.. i just dont know whats wrong with me. awh your already leaving tomorrow its going to be a long weekend.. even thought you think ima be having " fun " im not. your the person i have to talk to allday the person i fall asleep with a night. im going to miss you a whole bunchies. i really am. but all in all i really hope you have fun at camp cause it always seems like you always have fun :D ! but i shall find something to waste time and than youll be home soon enough i need to get to making your voicemail soon! <3 well hang in there babe its almost the weekend just one more day (: i looooove you <3

DT: Dear Blogger...

You're ignoring me..... :/

KD: I suck at titlesss.

rawr D: im scared for my Algebra 3 exaaam. i only need to make a like 50 on i tbut still .. and i get to use my review on it cant be an easier right? but the catch is there is like only what 20 questions ): awh babe i seem to be so off today i hope your not like rawr at me :/ sorry times 43982743892748932 ! promise you im not doing it on purpose! ive been listening to the same song for like 1 hour now and i think you can hear and your probably like uuhhhhh this kids music is so annoyingg.. you know if i had all the money in the world i would buy youuu everythinnnnng you want and you would be like yaaay! hahah im a loser i knoww. guess guess guess what i might come mondaaay but brandon said it was just a maybe cause he wants the guys to go up and chill in the okc how funnn would that be! haha i miss your bed :P its like so warm, and comffyyy than mines <3 well im sorry if this sucks but heres my bloooooog!

DT: This bag! -dies

37.99

)':

DT: I have a need to spend too much money...

Wish list:
1. MAC Pro Longwear SPF 10 Foundation (29.50)
2. MAC Studio Finish SPF35 Concealer (16.50)
3. Rimmel London Lipstick in "Airy Fairy" (6.00)
4. Sonia Kashuk Pointed Concealer Brush (5.99)
5. Sonia Kashuk Highlighting Brush (12.99)
6. RoC Eye Cream (19.97)
7. Sephora Tinted Moisturizer (21.00)
8. MAC Set Powder (26.00)
9. Kat Von D Concealer (25.00)


Total = $162.95
HAHAHA OK I'M CRAZY.

KD: its been so loong long long.

D: youve been so busy today. Hurry home love cause i miss you terribly ): and no text either ahhhh the pain . i dont have school tomorrow so we can talk all dayy and im not that tired :PP teeheeeee. <3  but if you are i can tell you stories all night but dont take that to your advantage! jk jk well hurry home okay? love you bye!

P.S. this makes no sense cause you cant even read it but yeah (x

KevinDaoo : On to the next.. Blog that iss.

OKAY.c. you see what i did there?! hahaha. watch this is gonna be my escape where i just write and write and write. wouldnt you like that. You know im still happy that you seem to make time to watch sports with me haha. thats great! like literally like i brag about you to the guys and their like oh you so lucky. hahahha <3 you so cool foreals. you know we get along together so well (: i like it. man this is the kinda weather where i just wanna like be in bed with you watch a movie fall asleep and wake up in the morning and see you. HAHAHHA im such a hopeless romantic.. HOW SAD.

KDIZZLE ( LMFAO ): HAHA. i think your writing one right now.

i dont really know what to say. i just wanted to write something for you haha. so like i have things on my mind to write down right like things i really wanna tell you , nothing bad , but its like stuff ive been wanting to say? well like ive been writing this for like 10 mins and its like man that doesnt sounds write - backspace- -backspace-. I just feel like im such a dissapointment sometimes, like the promises i break , the days i leave you lonely to sleep at night</3 yeah those kind of things. BAAABE D: i suck at writing blogs how am i gonna compare to you :P hahah ill try my best (x Sometimes i stay up when you go to sleep and i listen to you to sleep <3 it so soothing i have something so greaaat. its like my lullaby to sleep. and i go to sleep knowing that i have you. and i wake up knowing i have another whole day to talk to you, think about you have you on my mind. gaaaah beingg in love with you. just makes my mind go crazy cause i always fiend for you. to have you here .. but distance makes our love more fonder? i dont even know what fonder means but it just seems like were in that situation? i am so freaking dumb what do you see in me HAHA. I swear sometimes i always think about to that " crush " you had one that one dude.. cause its always like what did he have that i didnt to make her leave like that.. you know? that ponders my mind.. cause when you told me that i was like man i am not good enough sad story ): am i dumb for thinking that? this is random thoughts so dont be like what the freak is this kid talking about going off topic and stuff. it cant really be as good as yours or neat. but yeah heres my go! I'm thankful for everything up to this point , for having you everyday. i love you , dont ever second think it okay? hahaha<3 byeee.

DT: I want to be an ugly nerd, dangggittt.

That way I know I won't impress anyone, so I wouldn't even have to try.

DT: Something, something

I never thought that I would end up ever liking someone so much in my life. I feel so attached and it's a new, bittersweet kind of thing. I used to be so doubtful about it all, but now... now I'm actually okay. I like this and I'm cherishing every moment. I actually want this to last because I know no better feeling than this. Talking to you is something I actually look forward to every day almost, unless you're being a doofus that day of course. But, that's not many days out of the 365 days of the year. Everyday that I get to spend with you makes up for 843840 bad days that I've had so far. You make me feel like so relaxed and just myself when I'm around you. I don't have to put up a front with you. I don't have to try to not do random things to impress you. I know you're okay with what I have to offer. You get my jokes. I think you do atleast, but if you don't atleast you laugh which makes me feel better.

You always seems to ask me what I like about you. The answer is I don't really know. I can't place it. Can I just answer everything? My first try at "love" with a boy and it's turning into a success I think. I mean I haven't gotten my heartbroken right? I haven't been through the tragic situations that so many girls regret and cry about at nights right? I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm lucky. I'm lucky I got the chance to get you to like me for me. I'm not happy with the whole you're super far away thing, but everything else makes up for it. I mean, sure I miss you a hell of a lot sometimes, but I learned how to get pass that. Haha, I DONT KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

BYE!

KD: blogblogblogblog.

uhhh so you should start the first blooog(:

123notme!